Thursday, April 30, 2009

In Which Mariah Has The Best Idea Ever

Reality shows. They plague TV. I want some of that action.

They have reality shows about everything: modeling, singing, surviving, cooking, designing, hooking-up, etc.

Why isn't there a show about writing?

Picture this: each week introduces a new guest judge from the literary world, based on the genre covered that week. Contestants might have to write essays, short stories, poems, novel excerpts, and writings of that nature.

I think watching video confessions would be hilarious. Someone would say, "I know he's really not any competition for me. I mean, really, you've heard how many adjectives he uses, haven't you?" "Nobody needs this as much as I do! My mom's on crack and my sister is actually my daughter!" Talk about drama.

Here's the only thing I can't think of that would make my vision complete: who would be the host?

Brainstorm this one guys. Unless you feel silly, in which case we'll have to go our separate ways.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Yeah, It's Pretty Much Awesome

Okay, this title actually refers to two things.

One: I got accepted at Elon University. I'm flippin' excited! I would do a flip, but breaking my neck seems like the wrong way to celebrate.



Two: I wrote a completely awesome scene for my book the other night. It's AWESOME TIMES EIGHTY SEVEN THOUSAND. I honestly love it to death. I would post it here, but I'm feeling extremely protective and greedy because it's SO AWESOME. No, I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but I really think it makes my writing that much stronger.

Toot toot!

Oh, I hope that Piper wasn't too much of a bother yesterday. Once you're stuck in my computer it's hard to get out! *dun dun dun*

Wait! Don't leave yet! I just thought of another awesome thing!

Three: I got a four on my AP Calculus final. Our final was modeled after the AP test and a five is the highest score you can earn. Last time I took a practice test I got a two, so I've made huge improvement (to say the least)!

Alright. Feel free to bask in my magnificence now.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Finally, a Post That Matters

Hello everyone. My name is Piper Jenson. I'm the MC of Mariah's book The Not-So Meet Cute. Mariah is at a track meet today, so I took it upon myself to blog for her (don't tell her!).

Mariah is always going on and on (and on and on and on) about herself and her "random" experiences, and I just wanna talk about myself for once!

So, finally, here are some things you might not know about me.

1. I'm seventeen (almost eighteen!) and I'm a senior in high school.

2. I'm in a band called Rude Compliment and I play the drums. Slamming on the skins is one of my favorite things to do!

3. I can read minds. Don't worry, I won't tell anybody what you did this morning.

4. I have crazy-curly red hair and green eyes. No, I don't have a quick temper, but thanks for wondering.

5. My mother has OCD (okay, that's not about me).

6. My boyfriend, Simon, is psychic. And a great kisser :)

7. The government is after us.

8. I can't think of anything else, but I really wanted this list to end on an even number.

Alright, so I'm not as fascinating as I thought I was. But someone's writing a book about me, so that's something! She should be writing right now, in fact. I'll just keep distracting her. Try to win your track meet with your unfinished book on your mind, Mariah! Mwah ha ha.

So here's the part where I say something random so I can fit in with this blog's theme.

Um...

Here's a random video for funsies.

Monday, April 27, 2009

i know it's monday when...

...my alarm clock is obnoxiously loud.

...i accidentally clean myself with face soap instead of body wash while in the shower.

...i hear a plane pass overhead and, having read too much about world war 2, think that i need to close blackout curtains.

...i use too many ellipses.

...i'm too tired to hit the shift key.

...friday is too far away.

...i don't even use exclamation points in this post.

Friday, April 24, 2009

For Your Amusement (Oh, Who Am I Kidding? Mine Too)

Thank God it's Friday! Or, in Spanish, Gracias de dios es viernes! Woot woot!

I've completed another Mad Lib recently. These things make me laugh obnoxiously.

Horror Movies

Here is a list of the most sour horror bandannas ever made in Hollywood. Each of these chalky films received a rating of two lips-up from Siskel and Ebert.

1. The Hunch Bellybutton of Notre Spandex

2. The Piano of the Living Newspaper

3. The Bass of Frankenstein

4. Invasion of the Merpire Snatchers

5. The Scholarship from the misty Lagoon

6. I Was a Teenage Were-Virus

7.
The Bathrobe of the Opera



I don't really have anything else to post about today. My life is a major stress ball (I don't even know what that means) and I'm tired of waiting for the answers that will determine the rest of my life.

I'll just do some major book writing to make myself feel better.

(P.S. If you haven't watched my book trailer yet, you really should. It's dasaloff.)

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Oh! That's...Interesting

Recently I've been listening to Pandora while I work, and some interesting songs have come up.

Specifically, the song "L.E.S. Artistes" by Santogold. I'm sitting at my laptop, wracking my brain and thinking "Where have I heard this before? It certainly is catchy, and it fits nicely with my book." Then, my natural curiosity led me to Youtube, where this video was found:



And BAM!!! I remember why this song is familiar. The weird backup dancers totally gave it away.

I went to a Coldplay concert last August, and they were one of the opening bands. You should have seen some of the weird moves those dancers were breaking out!

Ahh. Victory is mine.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Drumroll, If You Please

Sorry I went missing yesterday. Let's just say it had to do with an insane track meet. More on my angst later...


Ta da! I've created my very own, incredibly dasaloff (if I do say so myself) book trailer!

Yay! Turn up the music!




I've retyped the poem here:

Apparently with no surprise

Apparently with no surprise
To any happy Flower
The Frost beheads it at its play—
In accidental power—
The blonde Assassin passes on—
The Sun proceeds unmoved
To measure off another Day
For an Approving God.

-Emily Dickinson

Now, you're probably thinking "What the heck?" Trust me on this one. If this book is ever published someday in the way distant future, you will understand. And yes, I understand that "blonde Assassin" isn't literally a killer blonde; a picture of the killer blonde from my book just happened to fit at that point in the montage. It doesn't help that she's smiling.

I hope you liked it!

Monday, April 20, 2009

Ooo, Secrets

I've been lurking around Script Frenzy lately, feeling guilty I didn't make myself write one. I suppose it'll be there next year...

Anyways, I found a great article called "Three Secrets of Great Storytelling" and I started thinking about my own story. Have I been following the rules? Let's see:

1) Every story is a version of be careful what you wish for.
I think I can say that for mine. Piper, the MC, wants to know why Simon (love interest) has vivid predictions of the two of them in love. When all this wishing ends and she discovers that he's psychic, they're dragged into a bad situation that forces her into an extreme sacrifice.

2) Your protagonist's flaw is secretly what your story is about.
Yes, yes it is. Piper's determined that no one will ever find out she can read minds. Simon's the first one she reluctantly tells about this gift, but the solution of the story only comes when it is revealed on a grander, high-risk scale.

3) Don't put Tootsie in a chicken suit.
The story is specific to her flaws! Yay!

Do any of your stories follow these secrets?

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Lookie Here!

Wordle: Untitled

Click that box thingy!

I just put the first six chapters of my novel into Wordle and I think it looks amazing.

I anticipated that "Simon" would be used most, but I didn't think I used "Just" that often. Looks like I have some editing!

Saturday, April 18, 2009

I'm Not a Bike!

I got an e-mail today that started "Dear Huffy". Huffy? How is that even close to being my name? Seriously? I'm not a bike!

Other random things:

Went yard sale-ing today (yes, it's a verb now) but didn't find anything. Reminded of the time I found an anthology of Jane Austen's complete works for fifty cents.

Literally kissed pavement today. Decided to try to get a tan (because everybody else got a head start and I look pale in comparison). Only sunny place in my yard on sidewalk. When I flipped onto my stomach I got a face full of pavement. If my towel was longer, or I was shorter, this could've been avoided.

Cheesecake factory is awesome. I almost died from eating an insanely chocolate cheesecake.

Yay for disjointed trains of thought!

Friday, April 17, 2009

This Is What I Mean!

I thought today would be a good day to post the poem that inspired my blog title. I'm not a poem buff, but when I find one I like, I really like it.

Anyways, here it is.

"Constantly Risking Absurdity"

Constantly risking absurdity
and death
whenever he performs
above the heads
of his audience
the poet like an acrobat
climbs on rime
to a high wire of his own making
and balancing on eyebeams
above a sea of faces
paces his way
to the other side of the day
performing entrechats
and sleight-of-foot tricks
and other high theatrics
and all without mistaking
any thing
for what it may not be
For he's the super realist
who must perforce perceive
taut truth
before the taking of each stance or step
in his supposed advance
toward that still higher perch
where Beauty stands and waits
with gravity
to start her death-defying leap
And he
a little charleychaplin man
who may or may not catch
her fair eternal form
spreadeagled in the empty air
of existence

Lawrence Ferlinghetti

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Zombification of Laptop, My Former Colleague

I've become entirely convinced that my laptop is out to get me. I'm actually a little nervous about posting this from my laptop, but something has to be done.

Yesterday, my internet wouldn't work. It might as well have made me allergic to chocolate, because that what it felt like.

A few nights ago, it turned it self on. Turned itself on. At two in the morning. TWO IN THE MORNING!!! The loud whirring couldn't be ignored for long, so I had to smack it until it shut up. Well, not really, but that's what I wanted to do. If it happens again I'll just hold up a baseball bat and it'll turn itself off.

I think my computer has a case of the zombie. My crochet ninja could probably take him.

This is the end of the post. Laptop is giving me a look. The if-looks-could-kill look. *Shiver*

If I don't post tomorrow you know what happened to me.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Picture Time!

I feel like posting pictures of random things today. I figure, why not? Who doesn't enjoy spring hats?




Er...alien hats, rather.



I found a PURPLE cupcake!!! Score!!!



This flats just make me smile. I must have them.



Yay ice cream!



That's my neighbor's dog, Butter. Her face just makes me think she smelled something bad. Or that she's lost all her money in the stock markets.

Monday, April 13, 2009

What Does "Lib" Really Mean?

The amazingly snarflicious Carrie Harris just sent me a crochet ninja. It's incredibly dasaloff. I love crocheted things. My camera is being stupid right now, so hopefully I can post a picture of it by the end of the week. Until then, here's an anthropomorphic crocheted thing (animal bon bons!):



I also scored a new Mad Libs book. I was curious what the word "Lib" meant, so I looked it up, and it turns out it's the short form of liberation or library. Weird.

Anyways, I finished one, and I think it's pretty funny:

Afraid of the Dark

I was home alone and scared out of my culsdesac. I could hear the wind chopping and off in the distance an octopus was howling. I crossed the room, locked the shuriken, and climbed into bed, pulling the lamps over my tongue. Then it happened. I could hear a sock chilling up the naughty stairs. My toenail started to chatter and my knees were calculating. The highlighter was thrust open and there was a huge post-it with hair all over his kneecap. It was my father. "Hi, we're home," he said readily. "Hope your weren't afraid of staying home alone." "No," I said, lying through my nostrils.

Friday, April 10, 2009

One More For The Road

Friday! Woot woot!

Okay, I promise this is the last Barbie Meets Godzilla! picture I made.



It's not that I have a lot of time on my hands, but that I really like to procrastinate.

Also I can't think of anything else to post.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

If I Was a Jedi...

It's finally happened.

I watched Twilight last night.

I expected Bella to start singing "Hot and Cold", but she never did. Major disappointment.

I'm pretty sure whenever I hear the word spider monkey from now on I'm going to laugh from my new random association.

Yes, I'm still procrastinating on homework, if you were wondering. I just can't bring myself to do it. Maybe if I stare at it long enough it will complete itself. Maybe if I had Jedi mind powers I could convince it to complete itself. Or pick my books up from across the room. I'm lazy.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Jazz Hands

I'm soooooo happy I'm on Spring Break right now. Totally catching up on all my sleep. I'll probably end up procrastinating on all my homework just because I can.

I've also had time to work on The Not-So Meet Cute which completely jazzes me. Yes, I actually dance around with jazz hands out of excitement.



Only, instead of candy bars, I dance around with my laptop.

I also found this video. It's peculiar.

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Yay! I Live!

As you might guess from my title, I'm still alive. I had my wisdom teeth extracted on Thursday, and I felt pretty pessimistic about the whole thing. Especially when the girl that went in before me came out crying. That totally freaked me out. But, when I finally got in there, they gave me some laughing gas and everything was awesome.

My cell phone was murdered. Whoa, sorry to change subjects so quickly. I hope you didn't get whiplash.

Like I was saying, my cell phone was murdered. I was outside doing yard work today (because I had to get out of my freakin' house) and I was in the middle of a text conversation with my friend. I put the phone on top of my mom's car because I was working next to it, but then my mom left to go to work. About a minute after she left I turned around to grab my phone, but her car wasn't there (so obviously no cell phone either). I flipped out and ran down the street until I found it, smashed into pieces. It was a very traumatic experience.

So even though I live, my cell phone doesn't.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Oops...

I just looked up the lyrics for "Je Veux Te Voir" translated into English, and it's not pretty! Much too dirty for me to post here!

Random, Elaborate Pranks and French Songs

I've never really been into April Fool's day. It's kind of like Valentine's Day. Why should there only be one day to play pranks on people? I guess it's because saying "April Fools" can get you out of just about anything.

The only prank I've ever wanted to play (but never actually done) is kind of elaborate. And the prank would be on someone I wouldn't even know. I think it would be funny to follow someone, like while you're at the mall (but not in a stalker way) until you hear their name. Then you pounce.

You run up and say "Oh my gosh, Linda? Is that you? It's been soooooooo long since I've seen you! How long has it been?" and so on, not giving them any chance to speak. Either one, they feel guilty for not remembering you or two, they'll call mall security. Hopefully the first one, and they'll play along with you. Then, one of your friends finds you and says "C'mon, we're gonna be late for the movies!" and you remind Linda to call you sometime as you leave. After you turn the corner, and they've been pondering your existence, you come back and yell "APRIL FOOLS!"

Yeah. It's kind of stupid. Elevator jokes are funnier.

Oh, Soñador posted French music today, so I'm going to as well. It's fun to listen to this while working out. Unless they're saying something profane and I can't tell.

Enjoy.