Friday, March 5, 2010

Resident Expert: Troy

Before my expertness begins, I will tell you which of the "facts" I told you yesterday was the truth.

1) At my university, you can major in puppetry. Yes, that's a real thing. Think Jim Henson, people. I've been to three puppet performances so far. My favorite puppet has a mustache above his nose! False. It is a major at University of Maryland, though.

2) I am absolutely terrified of monkeys. Seriously, they creep me out, especially when the eat with their feet *shiver*
False. I love monkeys! Favorite animal, for sure.

3) When I was seven years old, my appendix burst. I still like to point out my scar a la Madeline.
False. The only surgery I've ever had was to remove my tonsils when I was five-ish.

4) The first "book" I ever wrote was about a middle school aged boy named Sean. He had a crush on the popular girl, but he didn't realize that his best friend was in love with him. Original, right? Truth! I can't remember what the book is called at the moment, but it was one huge cliche. The next book I wrote sounded like a mix between Lord of the Rings and The Chronicles of Narnia.

5) My mouth is really big. Wanna see me put my fist in it? False. My mouth is absurdly small.

6) At a Coldplay concert, Chris Martin ran through the audience and almost tripped RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. When he caught himself, he gave me a little wink and kept on running. I almost passed out.
False *sniff* I have been to two Coldplay concerts, though.

7) I'm in a women's choir and have been known to do some mean scatting. Doo bop ba dee doop.
False. You've heard me sing! It's terrible.

And now for the main event...


So I'm doing things a bit differently this week. Instead of just focusing on one steamy guy, why not a movie of steamy guys?

I'll take that as a yes.

Greek mythology has always been close to my heart, so when this movie came out I was dying to see it. The movie even came out on my birthday! Clearly, this movie was meant for me. Only, I was turning 13 at the time, and my parents decided I wasn't old enough to see the movie (meaning they didn't want me to see Brad Pitt's butt). I was crushed. After years of studying Greek mythology (because my nerdiness started at a young age) I wouldn't be able to see the movie that culminated all my favorite things: mythology and Orlando Bloom.

Yes, Orlando Bloom was my first celebrity crush (okay, it was actually Daniel Radcliffe, but let's not talk about that) and I was determined I would see the movie.

A couple years later, I finally saw the movie.


I've always been attracted to war movies, so this was definitely my scene. The movie's main disappointment was that the gods and goddesses weren't in it. I was like "Where's Athena? Where's Aphrodite? I need Apollo!" but then Brad Pitt walked on screen and I shut up.

Achilles is the man.

I've since read the Illiad (and the Odyssey) and Achilles was an interesting character. He was more interested in being remembered centuries after the Trojan War than living to find happiness with loved ones... until Briseis.

After he met her, he was ready to leave all his war glory behind... until Patroclus, his cousin, was accidentally killed by Hector, Prince of Troy.

Ooh, Eric Bana.

Now, the Illiad was really supposed to be Achille's story. But I couldn't help feeling bad for Hector. I mean, his brother did the stupidest thing ever.

Paris took Helen of Sparta away from Menelaus, King of Sparta, which started the war in the first place.

Orlando Bloom is nice to look at. Sadly, that's the best thing about him in this movie. His character, Paris, is extremely annoying, wimpy, and thoughtless.

Why Orlando, why?!

I guess that's all I have to say about that for now. I don't want to give anything away if you haven't seen it (Why haven't you seen it yet? It's from 2004!) so I'll just post some more steaminess and call it a day.

Have a good weekend everybody!


Jonathon Arntson said...

I love this movie and Diane Kruger.

inthewritemind said...

I've never actually seen it. Perhaps I should put it on my Netflix quene.

And you make me feel old...I was 19 going on 20 in 2004 :P

Shannon O'Donnell said...

Thanks for the nice eye candy! :-)

Sarah said...

Um, I haven't seen Troy...or Brad Pitt's butt.

I can't believe your appendix didn't burst (I mean, I'm *happy* your appendix didn't burst)...I'm never going to guess one of these things right.

Thanks for being so awesome, Mariah! And of course you were "mentioned" in my post. You deserve an entire post, but there is TIME for such things! :D

Hayley said...

I LOVE this movie, it is on my favorites list, so amazing, and Patroclus (played by one of my favorite actors, Garrett Hedlund) was so cute! Loved this Resident Expert day, Troy was such a good movie!

Natalie said...

Ooo, I love all things Greek and Roman. I can't wait for Clash of the Titans.

Lisa and Laura said...

Oh my gosh, catching up on blogs as I'm watching the Oscars and totally read your truth about tonsils being removed as TOENAILS being removed. I was momentarily horrified! I mean why would anyone need their toenails removed at five. I'm really glad that's not true.